Every profession in every industry has its horror stories. And, when we have those rare opportunities to spend some down time with our colleagues away from the office, the scenes are very much the same regardless of how different our respective careers may seem. Without exception, I’d be willing to bet the gatherings include both “adult beverages” and the recounting of our favorite and best horror stories.
After working as a recruiter for five years, I have my share of stories, some of which would seem completely incredulous save for the fact that they actually happened to me. My former colleague and I still laugh uncontrollably about a candidate who called to tell us she would be late for her interview because she could not take BART into the city until she had had her “morning bowel movement.” During the interview, she showed us photos of her cats and her puppet creations. She didn’t get the job.
I also remember a young man who wanted to apply for temporary work as an administrative assistant. When I asked him about his proficiency with the Microsoft Office Suite, he explained with complete seriousness that he had never really used the programs. Without flinching he told me that he was always “sort of the token pretty boy in the office.” His resume was clearly a complete fabrication, and as I dug further with my interview questions, he essentially confessed as much. He didn’t get the job either.
I could go on and on, but this column is supposed to be about resumes. And, as you can imagine, I’ve seen my share of scary resumes. I’ve been handed resumes with handwritten corrections made throughout the document. I’ve received resumes that have been scribbled on notebook paper and mailed to me. I’ve also been presented with resumes that were crinkled, torn, coffee-stained, and even printed on scratch paper. Of course, these are extreme examples, but they do illustrate the point that some job seekers are still in the dark when it comes to resumes and job search etiquette. And, although it is Halloween time, a time when turning out the lights and telling scary stories is part of the fun, I cannot help myself. I must shed some light on the mysteries of writing a good resume.
When it comes to writing an A+ resume, you’ll do well to mind your P’s and Q’s, three P’s and two Q’s to be exact. For starters, resume writing requires preparation. Before you sit down at the computer, be sure to have all of the information you will need for your resume. This includes accurate dates of employment, complete job descriptions of your previous positions, and a brainstormed list of accomplishments and awards received. Keep in mind that employers are impressed by data that can be quantified and/or qualified (the two Q’s). Toot your own horn about those brilliant ways you were able to save a past employer time, resources, or money. Put your modesty aside and brag just a little.
Once you’ve written a first draft, proofread the document not once or twice, but three times. Your resume must be free of any grammatical or spelling errors. Finally, consider the overall presentation of the resume. Think about readability and visual appeal, and make sure that your best skills and qualifications are easy for potential employers to find. If you’re going to be presenting a hard copy to a hiring manager, make sure to use high quality resume paper.
As a job seeker, you must remember that everything you do leaves a lasting impression. Scary resumes and horrific interviews are the result of ill-preparation and carelessness. Admittedly, it requires a great deal of diligent effort to ensure that the impression you make is professional and positive. However, it goes without saying that the rewards of that effort are immeasurable when you land your dream job.
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